Just as I am. . ..

Have you ever heard the hymn "Just as I am?"  It goes like this:

Just as I am, without one plea,

But that Thy blood was shed for me,

And that Thou bid’st me come to Thee,

O Lamb of God, I come! I come!

Just as I am, and waiting not

To rid my soul of one dark blot;

To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, though tossed about

With many a conflict, many a doubt;

Fightings within, and fears without,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;

Sight, riches, healing of the mind;

Yes, all I need, in Thee to find,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, Thou wilt receive,

Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;

Because Thy promise I believe,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, Thy love unknown

Has broken every barrier down;

Now, to be Thine, yea, Thine alone,

O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/1048#ixzz2HoOmBi3r

We often sing it without really thinking about it.  Well, I had the opportunity for the Lord to teach me what that really means.

We've been praying for our neighbor and his family for some time.  He and his wife, have become like second parents to us.  They have even told us they consider us family.  They come from a Catholic background and readily admit that church and religion aren't high on their list of priorities.  They have three children, a son, and two daughters,   I don't know much about the son and one of the daughters, except that they seem a bit distant from their family not only in distance, but emotionally as well.  Sure, they visit during the holidays, but the recent trials that the family has experienced has been an interesting test of their bonds.  As a matter of fact, they've sort of turned on the youngest daughter and mom in their hour of great need.

Mary, as I will refer to her, is a few years younger than I.  I knew we had some things in common as she had trouble conceiving as did I and that she had experienced divorce.  She does have a son who just turned 4 and the poor woman has had one heck of a year.  She divorced sometime before her son was 2, due to her husband's alcoholism among other things.  She then entered into a relationship with a high school friend, which then turned sour as he stole her credit cards, some personal property and sent her into bankruptcy.  He also also threatened her parents with all matter of things.  She finally ended the relationship, but is still dealing with the fallout from all of that.  Then, a couple of months ago, just as her ex-husband was getting his act together and they were reconciling, he unexpectedly died .  She and her son found him in his hotel room.  Talk about a tough time!  Good grief! I think that's an understatement!  During the last year, I had heard all manner of things about her bad choices, etc. from her parents.  And, as most do, I judged her. What else did I have but her parents' word?  Well, God showed me otherwise. . . 

Let me back up a second, here.  Our neighbor has been suffering from esophageal problems for over a year.  It culminated in a risky surgery when they found his esophagus encased in cement-like scar tissue (from his stomach being removed several years ago due to cancer) and they found new cancer cells this time around.  He was so worried about the surgery that he told her co-workers he wasn't coming back because he didn't think he'd make it through and survive.  As a matter of fact, when I first had the chance to tell him we were praying for him, he told me he hoped they (our prayers) didn't have to come into play.  I had the chance to explain to him that prayer didn't work like that and we were praying that everything went well!    Obviously, he came through, because I already described what they found. We had the opportunity to go visit him in the hospital in Indy.  It was well worth the trip!  Though the surprise visit was brief, the Lord impressed upon me to take a Gideon New Testament with me and continued to urge me to have my husband offer it to him.  He took it graciously and actually thumbed through it as we finished our visit.  He allowed us to pray with him and was genuinely grateful for our visit.  I'm praying that he continues to look through the Word and find some answers to the questions he ponders and hope in the face of his current despair.

As we pulled into the driveway, after our two-hour drive home, Mary pulled in next door at the same time. I felt the urging of the Holy Spirit to go talk to her and let her know we visited her father.  She was surprised and expressed gratitude.  Then, the Lord took over.  I engaged in a deeper conversation with her.  I explained to her that her parents had shared some of her trials with me and that I wanted her to know that she has our prayers as well and that we loved her and were there for her if she needed anything.  After all, the kids love to play together.  I was able to connect with her on a level I didn't expect.  I found myself sharing with her that "I get it"  and acknowledged that the grief she was experiencing is something I have experienced as well.  I'm still in a season of grieving (which I plan to explore later).  She began to tell me her story - in her own words - words that didn't exactly match up to that of her parents.  As the scales fell from my eyes, the burden I had for her grew.  She's just in need of someone who can share in her fears, tears, and grief.  She needs Someone to guide her and love her.  She let me pray with her and we both cried.  I repeatedly told her to let me help any way I could with babysitting, a play date for the kids or even just a shoulder to cry on.  It became crystal clear to me that she needed to be seen "just as [she is]."  And, I'm blessed that God allowed me to minister to her.

Don't we all just want to be accepted for who we are?  As we traverse the narrow path before us, and we stumble and stray, don't we just want someone to hold out their hand and say "let me help you up" or "what can I do to help you get back on track?"  How often to we feel like the man in the story of the Good Samaritan and are just lying there, barely breathing, praying for a kind word, someone to lift us up and help us walk again?  Whether we are feeling like the man who was beaten and left for dead or we're the one passing by the way, Jesus has asked us to see beyond the obvious, the easily distracting gossip and our preconceived notions and love everyone equally.  Doesn't He do that for us?  What a privilege it is to be reminded that each and every one of us needs to be be seen just as we are, "though tossed about, with many a conflict, many a doubt; Fightings within, and fears without, . . ."

Let's all take the challenge and see each other as Jesus sees us - and then, we face the next challenge - to see ourselves as Jesus sees us.  But that's for another day. . . . for that's the biggest challenge of all.