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Isaiah 43:17-18

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Get off the fence.

Have you ever had an idea rolling around in your head? One of those ideas that won't leave you unless you do something with it? This blog post is one such idea.

Well, I don't know if “idea” is the right word. In fact, “Word” is the more appropriate noun in this case. I feel like Jonah in a way – given a Word from the Lord and ran from it. I'm not calling myself a prophet. I'm just saying I think I can relate to the weight of the matter that drove Jonah to seek reprieve.

Perhaps the message was too personal for Jonah. Perhaps it brought such conviction that he couldn't bear to look at himself in the mirror, let alone acknowledge that the Lord wanted him to speak it to a nation of savages. The truth was far greater that he wished to face. In fact, he outright refused to face it and ran away as far as he thought he could get. I don't know about you, but I don't think I want to wait until I'm swallowed up and spit out by a big fish before I do what I am supposed to be doing. So, I best get to it. . .

Get off the fence.

Interesting, isn't it? The very topic of my post is centered around making a clear choice. Wouldn't Jonah have had an easier time if he had just decided Who's side he was on from the beginning? Don't get me wrong. I think his being called to be a prophet of God is pretty clear cut in and of itself, but we do see the humanity of Jonah in the struggle he faced in fulfilling his calling. Sometimes I think I know what I am supposed to be doing, and other times I haven't a clue. But, one thing is certain, if I don't make a decision about Whom I serve in this world, I am going to continue to be a mess. 

Jesus clearly tells us in Revelation 3:15-22 (NLT) (emphasis mine):

15 "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! 16 But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!17 You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. 18 So I advise you to buy gold from me—gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness, and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see. 19 I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference. 20 “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.21 Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne. 22 “Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches.”

Many of you have either read or heard this Scripture preached. It's pretty scary to think that all our time on this dusty planet we call home could be vainly spent. But, God makes it pretty clear that we cannot be complacent and numb and allow life to pass us by. He has laid out a beautiful plan for our lives and given us the free choice to follow it. Yet, so many of us, myself included, end up focusing on the wrong things and ultimately letting our fire for Jesus grow cold and dim.

Why does this happen? Do we even notice it before it's too late? Does the din of life gradually drown out the still small voice or does it suddenly take over? Either way, we have given away our authority, our victory and our peace by allowing the enemy to have his way with our lives. Distractions, addictions, good intentions and lackadaisical attitudes cause us to stumble. Half the time. I have created my own stumbling blocks. Somehow, I have allowed myself to begin to buy into the lies that I have no influence, that my voice doesn't matter, that I cannot affect change and that I am not worthy of the platform I have been given.

So what do I do? I end up sitting on the fence with one foot in the world and one foot in the Kingdom. Not being effective in either and feeling torn to shreds on the inside as the war that rages around me pulls me in both directions.

No more.

That's right, devil. You heard me. 

NO MORE.

Today, this moment, as I sit and write for the world to read, I make my choice.

I choose God. 

• I choose to live a life of worth; one that is found at the Cross, where my Savior bled and died for me, as if I was the only living soul on earth. 
• I choose to live a life of victory; victory found as Jesus rose on the third day, after conquering hell and the grave, risen with the Spirit of the Living God, which now lives in me. 
• I choose to live a life of power; power found in Living Water in which I will spread my roots and soak up the power of the Word made flesh as I declare His holy name. 
• I choose to live a life of joy; joy that is established in my relationship with my Father in Heaven and which cannot be taken from me, unless I give it away. My joy is found in the knowledge that I was made in the image of my Creator, who loves me beyond measure. 
• I choose to live a life of prayer; one that keeps me and those around me covered by the grace and mercy of my God and King and I will believe Him at His Word and for the fulfillment of His promises. 

I CHOOSE LIFE.

• No longer will I be a slave to the chains of the past.
• No longer will I bend and break under the pressure to perform as the world expects. 
• No longer will my happiness be determined by the emotional state of others. 
• No longer will I listen to the lie that I have nothing to say and nothing to offer this world. 
• No longer will I be blinded to the needs of those around me and the calling to which I have been given.

Today, I choose to serve the Lord. I am getting off that proverbial fence and standing squarely on the side of righteousness.

Things will get rough. I will face challenges and I will be tested. I will not always feel like I have succeeded and I will find myself faced with the choice to give up or go forward.

In those moments, I will recall this day, this post and remember that I have thrown off the world's view of me and embraced my true identity in Jesus.

I will not be a fence sitter any longer. 

Tell me, friend... how about you?

Do you trust Me?

Over the weekend, my family and I were visiting an indoor water park.  While we are a blended family of five, two of my children live out of state and have for the majority of their lives.  So, when my husband and I take our youngest daughter to do something, it's usually just the three of us.  Per the usual fashion, we catered most of our visit to our eight-year old's interests, however, this time, we encouraged her to overcome her fear of the larger water slides.  You may laugh at this, and it has it's humorous elements to it, but as I sit and reflect on what really happened on this visit, I see things in a different light.

First, my husband and I ventured to the top of the tall platform to ride the "water coaster," while our daughter waited for us at the bottom.   Just as it sounds, the ride is a fast-moving ride where you and one or two of your close friends and /or relatives sit back in an oblong raft and zoom down an enclosed tube.  You can hear what can be construed as both screams of terror and/or delight echoing down the tube and throughout the facility.  I,  myself, admit my screams are a combination of the two emotions, but find that I truly enjoy the thrill.  

On the other side of the platform, there is a family raft ride.  Up to five people can sit in the circular flotation device and it, too, slightly twists and turns as the water carries you down an enclosed tube.  My husband and I noticed there were many smaller children, toddlers, in fact, that were riding this particular attraction.  We talked with a lady in line, who happened to be a lifeguard and confirmed the innocuous nature of the ride, and decided since our little girl had just gone down the regular tube ride with Daddy, she would really like this raft idea.  (Key foreboding music here.)

As you can probably imagine, things did not go as we had hoped.  Not only did we fail to factor in to account that she had literally just overcome her fear of the taller slides, we did not consider the truth of her condition:  she was scared out of her mind.  We're not talking excited-scared, here, either.  We are talking full-scale meltdown scared.  Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I went down the ride without her and Daddy walked his little girl down the three flights of stairs.  We'll try again tomorrow.

Well, the day began with some adventure (albeit frustrating) as we played a game that has you running to and fro throughout the hotel.  Finally, after we had defeated the dragon and won the gold (don't ask), we found ourselves back in the water park, splashing in the wave pool, and gearing up for helping our daughter conquer her fear for once and for all.  

When she finally got up the courage, what little she had at the moment, to go up to the platform, fear griped her again as she reached the platform.  While I tried to encourage her with 2 Timothy 3:17, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline," little could be done to calm her. All the coaxing and promises of gift shop goodies could not take this overwhelming fear away from my daughter.  She took a step into the raft and literally panicked, to the point of screaming.  A mixture of anger, resentment as well as concern took hold of me as I watched the same emotions rise up in my husband.  And as the three of us walked down the stairs together, all my precious daughter could say to us was "I'm sorry."  Over and over and over again.   

My husband took a seat in order to calm down and sent me and my daughter to the wave pool.  At first, I tried to reason with her, assure her that although disappointed, we weren't mad.  I recalled our moments on the platform, both of us looking into her eyes as they darted back and forth, asking her if she trusted us, trusted that we wouldn't hurt her or put her in harm's way.  That we would be sitting right next to her, holding her hand and sticking with her every moment of the way.  Yet, all of that rhetoric didn't resonate with her. the bottom line was that she didn't trust us and she was terrified. For the next few moments, while we were in that wave pool, I sought the Lord for wisdom and peace in the situation.  I put my arms around my baby girl and held her as she put her head on my shoulder and listened to me pray.   All of the sudden, I felt the Lord say to me, "you are asking of her the same thing I have asked of you, and what has your response been?"  A flood of compassion crashed over me along with the waves as I realized what this whole ordeal was really about.

Let me back up a half-a-second.  Two days before, I had a panic attack as well.  The details don't matter, but the crux of the lesson does.  When we come to a place of healing, we often think we have done all we need to do.  However, the journey never ends as we are refined and refocused as God reshapes us in to a new creation.  Our strength is not in ourselves and our high-minded thinking that we have overcome on our own, but from the very Spirit of God that inhabits us.  And, as we walk in our flesh and lean on our own understanding, we find ourselves face to face with situations we thought we could handle, yet they end up handling us and we are left a hot mess.  

Somewhere along the way, we lost our trust.  Trust in the process, trust in others, trust in God, and, we put too much trust in ourselves and our own abilities.  What is this thing called "trust?"  Again, I turn to Professor Google for our definition:  "firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something."  Don't we all say that trust is to be earned, not given?   Once a trust is broken, most of us have a heck of a time giving it out again.   We could argue the inherency of trust, but that will not be of any benefit, since both you and I know that regardless of where we learn the validity of trust, it can easily be broken and often times is at the heart of many of our relational issues.

You see, here is the reality:  crippling fear is not of the Lord.  You and I know what the Scripture says.  We know that there are varying levels of fear and that there are healthy fears that keep us from doing things that harm us, as well as reverent fear of the Lord.  But, herein lies the problem - how do we know the difference?  How can we trust that our fear will give us the boundaries of safety that we are looking for?  Scripture after Scripture encourages us to trust in the Lord.  A quick search reveals 59 references to trusting (or not trusting) in the Lord.  The most recited perhaps is Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding."

My daughter trusted in what her eyes and ears were telling her.  She saw and heard the rushing water at the beginning of the ride.  She saw a large flotation device swallowed up by a big blue tunnel and she couldn't see what was ahead of her.  She assumed that the rest of the ride was fast and bumpy and regardless of what anyone told her to the contrary, she could not trust what was being said to her.  How many times have the eyes in your head contradicted the eyes of your heart and convinced you that whatever God was asking you to do, that you could not trust Him for the outcome?  We lean into our emotions and allow them to tell us what is truth and what can and cannot be trusted.  I hate to break it to you, but our emotions are probably the one thing we have that we can absolutely NOT trust!  Emotions lead us into temptation, wrong thinking, sinful choices and devastating consequences.  We must learn to trust the Word of God.  Jesus, the Word made flesh, who knows us by our names.  Scripture tells us over and over again that those who trust in the Lord will find their peace, their prosperity, their victory and their joy:  

Psalm 37:3:  Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.

Proverbs 16:20:  Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful.

Isaiah 12:2:  See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.”

Jeremiah 17:7: But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.

Trust is the key to possessing our blessings.  We must first trust the one that holds them in His hands as knowing what is best for us.  As I have shared before, "Trust + Obedience = Blessing."  It's the formula for success.

So, you may be wondering about the outcome of all this as it relates to the water-park adventure.  Well, about half-way through the day, donning a life-jacket and after a threat to go down in the raft or if we go down the stairs, we go home, my daughter went down the family raft ride with us. And, on the way out of the park, our last ride was. . . you guess it!  The family raft ride!  I even caught her smiling a few times (in between the gentle dips and turns down the chute).    You see, in the end, she did trust us after all, even if it was under a bit of slight duress, and she was victorious over her fear.

Yet, in the end, the bigger lesson learned was mine.  I now see how much I lean on my own strength and understanding and how misleading they can be.  I need to trust in the Truth because in the Truth, I find my liberty.  And when I walk in liberty, I have the freedom to follow God with joy in my heart and assuredness (a.k.a. "trust") in His plan for my  life.

John 8:32:  "Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings.  And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."    

The Choice is Yours

There are times in our lives when we have to make tough decisions.  We hem and we haw about whether or not we are making the right ones.  We seek counsel from our peers and often times we keep asking until we hear what we have been wanting to hear.  In the end, our peace hangs in the balance because we don't know where we really stand.  It becomes less and less about the decision itself and more and more about the outcome of that decision.  And the outcome is determined by where we place our focus, on what or on whom. 

For the past several weeks, the messages at church have been convicting, to say the least.  Week after week, speaker after speaker, the Holy Spirit comes and penetrates the hearts of those who earnestly seek after Him.  Truly, Jesus told us the importance of chasing after God because we truly want to know His will.  “How blessed are the pure in heart! for they will see God."  Matthew 5:8 (Complete Jewish Bible)

For those of us who say we believe in God, we must make a very important decision. Even Joshua posed this question to Israel and his answer graces walls all over the world, including my own.

“So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:14-15 (New Living Translation)

What does it mean to put away the idols your ancestors worshiped?  What does he mean "choose this day whom you will serve?"

On the surface, it seems we are to abandon the ways of those who have come before us.  But, I would challenge you to dig a little deeper.  It's not just about the generational idol worship that you and I have inherited, it's about those idols we are dragging around behind us.  It's about the past - the wrong we have suffered, the hurt we have carried and the pain we may have caused another.  It is the very thing that keeps us in bondage and from walking in the liberty of God!  Why do we feel we must consult our past in order to move into the future??  We don't own our past anymore!  As soon as we crossed the threshold from the past to the present, God takes ownership!  He doesn't want us to carry the weight of the past upon our shoulders.  It's why He sent His Son to suffer and die.  He said to us, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 (NLT).  Yes, He spoke regarding our current burdens - our worries, our struggles, the things we battle in the here and now.  Yet, He also meant the weight we carry behind us - the very things that haunt us when we approach something new and exciting and that we know is in line with God's will for us.

Instead of walking in the liberty of God's truth and love, we cower beneath the weight of the what-ifs and the fear of not just failure, but of success.  We idolize our past to such a degree that it leaves us paralyzed and unable to walk into our destiny.  The very Spirit that raised Jesus from the depths of the grave lives in us, if we truly have accepted the free gift of salvation.  Once saved, we have an opportunity to show our gratitude to God by walking in obedience to Him.  Our offering is all of our heart, mind, and soul.

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul. 
Deuteronomy 10:12 (NLT)(emphasis mine) 

What can we bring to the Lord?
Should we bring him burnt offerings?
Should we bow before God Most High with offerings of yearling calves?
Should we offer him thousands of rams and ten thousand rivers of olive oil?
Should we sacrifice our firstborn children
to pay for our sins?
No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good,
and this is what he requires of you:
to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:6-8 (NLT)(emphasis mine)

It's not about fair.  It never will be.  The past is the past and only God alone reserves the right to pass judgment.  We must bear in mind, however, that you and I are afforded the same grace and mercy. My sins are no better or worse than your sins, regardless of how the world views them.  Sin is sin.  Jesus paid the price for all sin. Why is this important? Because I didn't go to the cross for any man.  I have no right to be disobedient or rebellious against God because someone we believe deserves to be punished seems to be getting away without any consequences.  So, why do we drag that weight around our necks?  Why do we shake our fist at God and ask "why?" all the while demanding He bless us in our feeble attempts to serve Him?

Here's the bottom-line:  God will not honor lip service.  He cannot do so.  James tells us this: 

So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.”  You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless? Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar?  You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete.  And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God  So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone. Rahab the prostitute is another example. She was shown to be right with God by her actions when she hid those messengers and sent them safely away by a different road.  Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.       James 2:17-24 (NLT) (emphasis mine) 

God wants to bless us.  He wants to answer our prayers.  But, He can and will only do so if what we ask is in line with His will.

"My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God’s Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion. And how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he’s listening. And if we’re confident that he’s listening, we know that what we’ve asked for is as good as ours."
1 John 5:14-15 (The Message)(emphasis mine)

What is the point to all this?  We have to make a choice.  Let's revisit Joshua 24:14-15 again:

“So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:14-15 (New Living Translation)(emphasis mine)

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be like Ebenezer Scrooge's partner, Marley, who bore in death the chains of sin he created in life.  I want to walk in the liberty of God, so that I may serve Him, and prosper.  Just as God exhorted Joshua, we can glean the same power and strength from these words:

“Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them.  Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:6-9 (NLT)(emphasis mine) 

The time to live boldly for God is now.  Choose this day whom you will serve.  For me, there is only one Way.  I can't make this choice for you.  I can only point you in the direction of the Truth.

"But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (NKJV)

Focus.

I wonder if you are like me. . . I often find myself with good intentions that often go awry.  I am highly distractable (insert bright, shiny object here).   

Yet, the word that came to me tonight was "focus."  Like I often do, I looked up the meaning of the word and according to Professor Google, the noun means "the center of interest or activity" or "the state or quality of having or producing clear visual definition."  Let's look at the verb, however.  To focus is to "(of a person or their eyes) adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly" or "pay particular attention to."  Hmmm.  As you may have guessed, my interpretation has a slight slant to it. . .

I heard on the radio earlier today that Jesus had developed the habit of obedience.  While I won't explore that concept at this time, I would venture to say that Jesus was, indeed, focused.  In all things, Jesus always prayed for His Father's will (Matthew 6:9-13, John 17:1-26 to quote a sampling).  We might think it was easy for Jesus to pray for God's will on earth, but the Bible clearly tells us that He was tempted in every way that we are today:  "Also, let’s hold on to the confession since we have a great high priest who passed through the heavens, who is Jesus, God’s Son;  because we don’t have a high priest who can’t sympathize with our weaknesses but instead one who was tempted in every way that we are, except without sin." (Hebrews 4:14-15, CEB)

So, what is it that kept Jesus from distraction?  He knew His Father's will for Him was far greater than what He could purpose for Himself.  Even as He was fully God, He was fully human as well.  This is why we can have confidence that He knows our every emotion  - good, bad or indifferent. 

So, how do we find the focus that Jesus had?  Is it even possible?  Oh, yes, my dear friend, it is.

Let us turn to the Scripture, the very Word of Life that Jesus embodies:

Psalm 16:5 - LORD, You are my portion and my cup of blessing; You hold my future. (HCSB)

Psalm 37:5 - Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. (ESV)

Proverbs 3:5-6  - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (ESV)

Proverbs 16:9  - The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. (ESV)

Isaiah 43:18-19  - “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (ESV)

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (ESV)

1 Corinthians 2:9  - But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” (ESV)

Many of these Scriptures may be familiar to you, but let's go back to our word, "focus" so you understand why I am sharing these verses with you.

The definition that struck me was this:  "(of a person or their eyes) [to] adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly."  If you are a follower of my blog, you will recall I wrote about "The Eyes With Which We See."  I spoke about viewing our lives through our spiritual eyes versus our natural eyes.  I believe focus is not much different.  We must "adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly" but we must be certain of the source of that light.  If it is not God, what is it?  Psalm 119:105 says "Your word is a lamp to walk by, and a light to illumine my path."  His Word, God's Word, illuminates the path before us.  So many times we try to hold up the lamp of our own making, a manufactured ideal that we are in charge of where we are going and what we are doing.  Yes, we have been given free choice to choose God or reject Him, but once we have the Holy Spirit living in us, any attempt to deviate from the path of righteousness leaves us frustrated, disappointed and full of regret. 

Believe me, I am not immune to this process.  Again, I am highly distractable.  I often times find myself doing things that waste time and effort and then I kick myself later for doing so.  We are not alone in this.  Even Paul, the greatest apostle that ever lived, told us in Romans 7:15 that "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (NIV)  So, what did He do? He focused on the right Light.  The Light of Jesus, the Living Word of God.

I know it's hard to take it all in.  I struggle just as you do.  But, we do have a hope in Jesus.  Once we are born again of Him and of His Spirit, we can and will accomplish all that He has predestined us to do.  We may make choices that delay possession of that destined blessing, but in the end, when we hone in on what we have as sons and daughters of the Most High King, the possibilities are endless.

So, perhaps instead of getting all wrapped up in what I am not accomplishing and allowing myself to escape into my distraction of choice, I really should get focused.  But first, I think I'll ask God to give me a peek at His plan for my life. And even if the road ahead requires mud boots and waders, I am confident that the Light I see in the distance will take me to a future that can be nothing short of glorious.

"We are the dreamers of dreams. . ."

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, 

to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." 

Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

We all have a dream.  Sometimes that dream is birthed within us when we are young, before we even have the ability to speak it. Sometimes it comes as we become seasoned in life, fine-tuned and focused.  And then, sometimes the dream changes, morphs, if you will, as we reevaluate and re-purpose ourselves and how we live our lives. One thing is constant, however.  When our dreams are not realized, we tuck them away, or bury them even. And at some point, either a new dream rises in our hearts or the old one resurfaces.

I've been writing since I was a child.  It used to be my outlet for depression and teen angst.  My stories were dark, sometimes haunting and always written from a place of pain.  As I grew older, I stopped writing.  I'd pick it up now and again, journaling, documenting life's events and/or the road I traveled to get to them.  In December of 2015, I felt the call to really write - write from a place of strength, peace, growth and love.  You, my dear reader,  share in the fruit of that labor.  I thank you for reading and sharing in that journey.

Last week, I received a notification that a Christian book publisher was having a writing contest.  I mulled it over and tried to temper my excitement.  God has impressed upon me a book in the last several months and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could share some of that vision. . ..   So, I wrote.  I wrote and rewrote and prayed and rewrote again. I think I questioned myself and my motives as much as I felt the leading to submit an entry.  God bless my dear friend who read and reread and encouraged and prayed.  Finally, believing God had gave me just the right words (and exactly 3999/4000 characters), I paid my entry fee and hit the "submit" button.

The 48 hours following were nerve-wracking.  Within hours of submitting my piece, I knew it needed to be changed, reworked and part of me wanted to retract it.  And, the waiting!  Oh, the waiting.  I tried to put it out of my head. . .but my flesh could not keep from checking my email a hundred times an hour (ok, that's an exaggeration, but goodness!  The agony of waiting!)

Well, yesterday afternoon, I received the announcement.  As my eyes skimmed the page, I begin to read a familiar title. . . really familiar.  And, then, I saw my name.  I. WON.   Yes.  not only had I won, but I. WON. THE. GRAND. PRIZE.  Tears immediately burst from my eyes and I couldn't breathe.  A mixture of unbelief and joy flooded my mind and heart and my body began to shake.  God had birthed a dream in my heart, given me a vision and the words, and then provided "infinitely more than [I] might ask or think."  My husband and daughter were caught off guard as I had submitted the piece unbeknownst to them.  I think I shed tears of joy, fear, shock and a host of other emotions for at least an hour.

 I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't excited.  I'd be lying to you if I didn't tell you that I have been overcome with fear, dread, and worry.  What if I dishonor my Lord?  I already know that the content will change.  What if. . . what if. .. and then, the warfare begins.  Did I disappoint people?  Am I being humble enough?  What have I really gotten myself into?

While the swarm of emotions attempts to steal my joy (and has almost been successful), I am reminded that even if I am in error, God's favor stills rests upon me. No matter what happens in the future  - whether I actually write and publish a book or am lead down another path - God loves me. He REALLY loves me.  I know that He didn't allow this to happen so I'd feel good about me.  I'm to feel good about GOD in me, working through me, on a day to day basis and by the power of His grace and mercy, I can move according to His will and in His power alone.  Even if I made a mistake in my thinking and hence in my writing, I praise God that I know it and that I can have confidence that He will shield those who read it from being affected by what I now know to be different.

God is exceedingly able to bring our dreams back to life.  He is exceedingly able to give us the desires of our hearts. . if and when they align with His will. 

  Take delight in the Lord,  and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Psalm 37:4 

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

As I take it all in, a strange voice echoes in my mind. .. Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka who declared in the face of sarcastic criticism "We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams,. . ."  The line is actually the beginning of a poem entitled "Ode" by  English poet Arthur O'Shaughnessy.

We are the music makers,  

And we are the dreamers of dreams

Wandering by lone sea-breakers,

And sitting by desolate streams;—

World-losers and world-forsakers,

On whom the pale moon gleams:

Yet we are the movers and shakers

Of the world for ever, it seems.

Isn't that true?  We are not of this world!  God's Word tells us that we are to live in the world but not of it!

And, then, Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. Once you received no mercy; now you have received God’s mercy.” Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.   1 Peter 2:10-12 (NLT) 

I also hear the voice of my pastor speaking about "Dream Provokers" and how necessary the both the cheerleaders and the naysayers are to the success of our journey. 

"If God wants you to do something with your life, He will send a dream provoker." - Pastor Marcus Mecum,  7 Hills Church.

Pastor reminded us that without the dream provokers in our lives, we won't be stretched, challenged and determined to achieve much more than that for which we've settled.

So, here's my charge to you. . .DREAM BIG.  Allow God to so move in your mind, heart and soul that you can start to see the vision in clear focus and hear it calling to you.  Be strong and courageous!  If you take a minute to read my short piece, you'll see that we are given the command to be strong and courageous!  It's not an option, but a directive!  Allow the God of all creation to create in you dreams beyond your wildest imaginings and then believe Him to deliver. . . and be prepared for a blessing beyond measure. 

To read my contest entry along with those who have also won, please visit https://www.xulonpress.com/writing_contest/page/winners