Whom do you aspire to be?

If you are anything like me, you want to be more than you are.  We are always comparing ourselves to another woman who seems to have it all together.  What we don't see is that none of us really have it all together.  Impeccably dressed, well-manicured, flawless makeup, charming children and handsome husbands all seem to indicate a perfect family life.  But, we've all heard the cliche':  "You can't judge a book by its cover."

Behind all the outward perfection, there is likely to be a woman who is a complete and utter mess. Beautiful jars on the outside, but shattered pieces on the inside.  Many of us don't want to admit it, but we feel like failures for not living up to what we perceive should be the epitome of womanhood and not the woman whom we are called to be. 

Many of us struggle with the notion of the Proverbs 31 Woman.  I know I do.  I have often thought that she was a woman of myth, a fictional character that could never materialize in the here and now. Even the ladies of days past strove for the perfection that we have come to believe the Proverbs 31 woman exemplifies.  What we fail to see is that the Proverbs 31 Woman is built into our DNA.  We just have to learn how to tap into her.

I personally have struggled with balancing my "Mary" with my "Martha."  Domestic Engineer, I am not.  I never really had the chance to learn those core skills as I was shooed away from the kitchen and when it came to cleaning, well, let's just say that those expectations were higher than Mt. Everest. It's not that I don't know how to clean, I just don't like it. It's not that I don't want to cook or plan meals, it's just that I don't have that skill set yet.  (Notice I said "yet."  I'm going to be changing that very soon.)

In the past couple of days, the need to make a shift in my thinking has become more and more urgent.  My family deserves more than I have previously given.  My  husband, who travels extensively, deserves to come home to a clean, tidy house and a home cooked meal once in a while.  It has been my own unwillingness to embrace that which is within me that has caused me to fail.

In my quiet time, I asked God to help me understand what He wanted of me.  He was very clear.  "Get your house in order."  I knew that was not a dig at my lack of domestic skills.  God was asking me to take care of my family.  He also told me this:  

"Your worth is not measured in your ability to cook or clean. Your worth is measured at the cross. I know you by your name.  Not the dirt and the grime.  But, I have called you to a purpose.  To love Me above all else and follow my commandments.  In loving me, you will find your true worth, the cost of My Son's very life for you.  In serving me, you will find joy, hope, peace, contentment and the affirmation will be in knowing that you have pleased me.  Your family will feel  loved and cared for.  You are my vessel through which I can care for My son and My little child.  I can perform many miracles, but I still need you to see that you are here on purpose; for such a time as this.  Yes, I will use you in others' lives, but right now, I want to use you in the lives of your family.

Who can find a capable wife?

        Her value is far beyond that of pearls.

Her husband trusts her from his heart,

        and she will prove a great asset to him.

She works to bring him good, not harm,

        all the days of her life.

 and works with willing hands.

She is like those merchant vessels,

      bringing her food from far away.

It’s still dark when she rises to give food to her household

        and orders to the young women serving her.

  and from her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She gathers her strength around her

        and throws herself into her work.

She sees that her business affairs go well;

        her lamp stays lit at night.

        her fingers hold the spinning rod.

She reaches out to embrace the poor

        and opens her arms to the needy.

  since all of them are doubly clothed.

She makes her own quilts;

        she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

        when he sits with the leaders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them;

        she supplies the merchants with sashes.

       she can laugh at the days to come.

When she opens her mouth, she speaks wisely;

        on her tongue is loving instruction.

She watches how things go in her house,

        not eating the bread of idleness.

        her husband too, as he praises her:

“Many women have done wonderful things,

        but you surpass them all!”

        but a woman who fears Adonai should be praised.

Give her a share in what she produces;

        let her works speak her praises at the city gates.

She procures a supply of wool and flax

She considers a field, then buys it,

She puts her hands to the staff with the flax;

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

Her husband is known at the city gates

Clothed with strength and dignity,

Her children arise; they make her happy;

Charm can lie, beauty can vanish,

Proverbs 31:10-31 (Complete Jewish Bible)

"Do you see?  You are more than what you believe yourself to be.  Stop preaching to other women what you yourself do not believe and grasp hold of.  You are more than what you see in the mirror.  You are more than what you see around you.  Take hold of your destiny and purpose in ME first and the desires of your heart will be fulfilled."

As I read the Scripture that I have read so many times before, my mind was flooded with words, adjectives; no, they were attributes of the Proverbs 31 Woman.  These words came quickly as I read them and I soon found myself creating word art so they would stand out on the page.   And, then, because I am so visual (and a wee bit on the creative side), I turned my lesson into something I could print and put in front of me as a reminder.

As you read the words in the image below, let them soak into your spirit.  This is who you are!  Who you were created to be!  It's so easy to lose sight of who we are as women when we are living in a culture that demeans and defiles the institution of family.  The family unit needs us to be the very women of God we have been called to be.  You and I each have our own destiny to fulfill.  But, we have to recognize that God has endowed to us a gift in the trust He has given for us to care for His children.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take my rightful place in my home, in the divine order of God's kingdom.  I am ready to embrace the attributes of the Proverbs 31 Woman.  She is who I aspire to be. And, before long, I will be the one whose "children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'" Proverbs 31:28-29 (ESV)

Feel free to download the image above by clicking on it and saving it to your device.