"Find Me in the Wilderness"

What do you think of when you see the word “wilderness”?  Professor Google defines it as “an uncultivated, uninhabited, and inhospitable region, a neglected or abandoned area of a garden or town, or a position of disfavor, especially in a political context.” It’s always interesting to me to read a definition and then ponder what that really means in context of God.

Many of us often say we are in a “wilderness season.”  To the majority of us, that means we feel out of God’s favor, out of His reach and have no direction or clarity.  We think of the Jews that wandered in the desert for 40 years after God delivered them from Egypt.  But, too often we forget that God traveled with them – a cloud by day and a fire by night.

The Lord went ahead of them.  He guided them during the day with a pillar of cloud, and he provided light at night with a pillar of fire.  This allowed them to travel by day or by night.  And the Lord did not remove the pillar of cloud or pillar of fire from its place in front of the people. Exodus 13:21-22

Isn’t it interesting that we forget the fact that God went before them?  That His Spirit was constantly with them as they traversed the dry, hot terrain?  They did not go without - He provided food (manna), water and neither their clothes nor shoes wore out.

And, still, the people of Israel, the chosen nation of God, murmured and complained.  An entire generation missed out on the blessing of the new land because they could not stay focused on Him. We are no different than they were.

So, what is it in us that causes us to dismiss God’s presence from our every day lives?  We can all agree that it all started in the garden when sin entered the world.  Our Father gave us free will to choose Him or choose the world.  Sometimes that decision seems to live somewhere in the gray, where we want what God has for us, but are unable to give up the comforts, desires and lusts the world makes so appealing.  Mankind has not changed throughout the ages.  We are no different from our ancestors.  Just like them, we waver like the wind and vacillate back and forth between our faithfulness to God and faithfulness to ourselves. 

I find myself in this wilderness season.  But, as I cry out to the Lord, He reminds me that the wilderness is not the place where we are lost and forgotten.  It is the place where our dependence on Him becomes critical to our very existence.  It’s where our faith either leads us or defeats us. 

“Where is your faith?” Jesus asks in Luke 8:25. Many days I cannot answer that question.  In Matthew 8:26, He asks “’Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!’”  Again, I cannot answer.  My faith feels so small and unable to carry me.  And yet, Jesus tells me, “’Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’” (Matthew 17:20). 

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that “Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.”  Why is faith so hard to muster in difficult times?  We say we believe but our hearts are frail and fickle.  It’s no wonder our wilderness journey feels so long and drawn out. And, still, He calls to us, “Find Me in the wilderness.”

I’m reminded of Jesus.  Luke 5:16 tells us that “… Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.”  I know that Jesus was fully God and fully Man while he walked upon the Earth.  His need to withdraw and pray shows me that He had to lean on faith in His Father’s plan.  As He remembered how the Holy Spirit lead the people of Israel in the wilderness, He knew He could and would commune with His Father in the wilderness.  And, because His faith in Who He was and what the Father would provide for Him, Jesus sought His Father out in the very place most of us dread to venture.  And we know, His Father met Him there.

Beloved, are you in the wilderness?  It is not such a dry and desolate place.  It is not where you have lost favor with God.  It is not where you are abandoned and forgotten.  No, it is the place God leads you so He and He alone can show you His way.  It is the place where His presence never leaves you nor forsakes you.  It is the very place where He finds you and welcomes you into His arms.  It is the place where He makes things new.

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19

Tethered or Withered?

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 NLT


If you have been around me for any length of time, or have had occasion to read any of my previous posts, you may have noticed that God speaks to me in metaphors. It’s not an audible voice that I hear, rather a thought that comes that I cannot claim as my own.

Recently, I have traveled and experienced God in ways I am not sure I can adequately convey. Between the crisp mountain air and natural formations of Colorado Springs and the beauty of a state park in Indiana, God has spoken through the voice of the very natural wonders He created. Even so, the most recent metaphoric revelation occurred in my own back yard.

Sometime early in the summer, my sweet daughter took the seeds of a butternut squash and tossed them across the fence dividing the land behind us and our backyard. She had hoped it would produce fruit in the same manner we harvested a beautiful little pumpkin the previous year. At the beginning of September as hints of autumn began to appear, we discovered the seeds had taken root and a vine began to grow along the barbed wire fence.

Upon inspection of the vine, one could see the strong, but tiny tendrils that gave the vine stability and the thick stalk that curled around the fence. The beautiful yellow flowers began to peak from underneath the covering of the thick, large leaves and occasionally, we’d see the flowers fall off and give way to the swell of fruit underneath. 

Not all the flowers produced fruit and some of the fruit that did grow only lasted a few days. Then, much to our surprise, a squash began to grow. 

As I watched the surviving fruit transform, I observed that very few of the other flowers produced such a fruit. And soon, we had another.

My sweet daughter caught an amazing picture of the new growth. I was in awe of the beauty it possessed. So much can be said about the process of seed becoming fruit. Yet, it wasn’t until I got home from one of my trips that I really saw the lesson that the Lord was trying to teach me.

You see, when I had returned, our tiny little fruit didn’t look the same as when I had last seen it.

No longer was the vine strong and resilient. Now, it was twisted and limp. The fruit was no longer growing, but had actually seemed to have shrunk in size. Upon further inspection, I observed the true source of the problem – this length of the vine was no longer connected to the main vine – its source of life.

Curiosity drove me to inspect the vine further and to look at the larger fruit that still appeared to be attached. It was attached, but not in the way I expected. The stalk was attached, but it was barely hanging on. Most of the connection had been severed, but the fruit could still receive sustenance from the vine. Oh, how the lesson came alive!

Jesus told us in John 15 that He is the source of life. As with many verses of Scripture, we often recite just one portion of a passage, but when we evaluate the entire context of a concept, we can receive deeper revelation:

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. (John 15:1-8, NLT, emphasis mine)

Echoes of that passage have rung in my mind and heart as I have traversed the last few weeks. Our small group is working through a Bible study on spiritual stamina.  Its purpose is to  encourage the very  disciplines that keep us connected to God.  The timing of this post s not coincidental as many of my recent conversations with God have been on this very topic. 

Jesus told the disciples that there is only one vine – Him. Apart from Him, we cannot grow. Apart from Him, we cannot produce fruit. Just as the farmer sowed seeds into the soil that is hard, rocky, or full of thorns, no good harvest will come forth. We oftentimes begin with high hopes and good intentions, but if we fail to stay connected to the source of our nourishment and strength, our fruit will wither and the branch will eventually be cut away.

Connectedness to God comes in many forms. It is not just reading His Word in your prayer closet or singing worship songs in the shower or car. It’s not only showing up for service on the weekends. All those things are extremely important, but what I believe the Lord was trying to teach us was that we must engage Him in conversation, invest in the life of our church and bond with other believers.

We, the vine branches, grow as we are connected to the One True Vine. The tendrils of our faith begin to grow as we allow ourselves to be immersed in God’s love and grace as well as draw from the truth of His Word. The fragrant flowers of our lives bloom and produce fruit as long as we stay engaged with His people and His church.

Granted, the trials we face cause us to want to withdraw. However, those are the times we must be tethered to the Vine, fiercely clinging to the source of all hope and strength that is only found in Jesus. We experience that strength and life when draw upon those with whom God has surrounded us. When we allow ourselves to become disconnected, our branch becomes weak and withered, and our will to reconnect fades with it.

Looking back at the pictures of the vine in my backyard, I’m drawn back to the fruit that held on with a broken stalk. The connection still existed, but at some point, the stalk broke and the fruit fell. What is left of the vine is slowly dying and soon, those bright flowers will no longer be a part of the scene as I look out my window.

Unlike the fruit, you and I can repair our connection to Christ. We can make the decision to reach up and out and find healing for our souls. We can choose to spend more time reading and praying.  We can decide to reconnect with those who are tethered to Him and draw strength and encouragement from them. We do not have to allow ourselves to be cut off and starved.

Deep within us exists the desire to remain in Him. We crave connectedness, not just to others but even more so to our Creator. He has built that into our DNA and it is not without reward. John 15:7 reminds us of the promise fulfilled for being tethered to Jesus: “But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!” The joy we have in staying connected to Jesus results in fruit for others and ourselves through answered prayer. The closer we get to Him, the more our prayers align with His Word and His will and the more fruitful our lives will become.

What do you need to do to reconnect to the Vine? Reach for Jesus and you will encounter a peace that passes all understanding and the strength to endure all seasons.

Even the Black Cloud Holds Rain

I used to think that depression was just a form of emotional stress.  I then learned that it has to do with chemical imbalances and other physiological sources.  But, I have learned that there is another component to it as well – something deeper, more powerful and potentially deadly.  It’s a spirit sent to distract, tranquilize and ultimately kill.

While this may sound a bit melodramatic, let me just start by saying I’ve been dealing with depression since I was a child.  Like many, I was a victim of sexual abuse at a young age, which lead to many other complicated emotions and personality traits.  I did not know it was considered abuse at the time, as I was six and my abuser was still yet a child himself at nine.  Yet, the black cloud that followed me from that moment on brought heavy seasons of pain, guilt and depression on and off throughout my life.  

We used to treat depression in Christians as taboo, almost as if it was spiritually impossible to believe in God and yet still feel down and out.  In recent years, both believers and non-believers alike medicate their emotions with prescriptions, holistic alternatives, and unfortunately, other self-directed methods that drive a person further down the emotional black hole.

Regardless of what psychologists and psychiatrists say, we cannot solve a spiritual problem with man-made solutions.  Our healing comes from deep within us, but only when we have tapped into the supernatural love and grace that was placed in us by our Creator.

Let me get real and raw for a minute.  Depression, anxiety and mental illness is a spiritual stronghold in my family.  It’s roots run deep and we have been unsuccessful in ridding our land of this curse.  It has caused me to think terrible thoughts, thoughts that lend themselves to leaving this life.  As disturbing as those thoughts are, I know that is not what God has planned for me. Nonetheless, the depression runs deep and seems to control me when life has seemed to beat me down.  But, I’m beginning to realize that I have been looking at this all wrong. What I see as a persistent black cloud of pain, the Lord sees as a source of renewing rain.

I believe I have mentioned before that I have learned that our lives are our land.  You and I have been allotted our own pieces of real estate in the scope of God’s Kingdom.  My responsibility is to tend to my plot -  ripping up my own weeds, tilling the soil, and spreading the seed.  I’m not to interfered with another’s plot unless I am directed to do so by the Lord.  I certainly can’t remove any of their weeds, because even weeds serve a purpose.  But, what about that rain?  

We can say that the rain comes from the tears we shed during the trials we face.  Yet, I believe I am learning that isn’t always the case.  The rain comes once we have hit rock bottom, cry out to the Lord in true surrender and He releases the Living Water upon our soil to renew our souls.  

That black cloud you think that has been following you, bringing you pain and heartache, is really the fullness of God’s mercy, waiting to be released upon the dry land of your heart.  We cannot loose the blessings of Heaven on earth if we continue to hold fast to the sin that binds us.  Whether it be simple and seemingly harmless or over the top, sin is sin and it separates us from our Father in Heaven.   His heart is to bless us, to see us flourish and grow and draw others to Himself through us.   Yes, even in the desert, He is present and He longs to shower us with His mercy.  Our job is to surrender ourselves to His will.

Surrender is more than just a white flag.  It’s more than just giving up and caving in.  Surrender to God is allowing the end of ourselves to give way to a new beginning in Him.  Sometimes we have to get to that end, to feeling downcast, desperate, on the brink of giving up altogether.  David felt that way.  In Psalm 43:5, we read “Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God.” (HCSB).  

Yes, I will put my hope in God.   What others may mean for evil, God will use for good.  (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28).  In my weakest moments, when I am looking up for answers and I see that black cloud following me, I will sing praises to my Lord and King, and lift my hands to receive the glorious renewing rain that has been stored up just for me.

"Ask rain from the LORD at the time of the spring rain-- The LORD who makes the storm clouds; And He will give them showers of rain, vegetation in the field to each man."  Zechariah 10:1 (NASB)

Be Careful Where You Till (A Flourish Devotional)

As I walk my dogs each morning, I pass a rose bush. Earlier in the spring, the bush budded with coral blooms, a beautiful sight, indeed. However, a broadleaf weed began to grow at the base of the bush. As each week passed, the weed grew taller and my dislike for it grew with it. The weed is now taller than the rose bush by at least 2 feet and is almost as tall as I am.

To be quite honest, every time I pass it, I want to cut it down. Yet, I have a problem: the weed and the bush are growing in my neighbor's yard three houses down. Let me tell you, if they were in my yard, the weed wouldn't have survived a week.

One morning last week, I passed the odd combination of plants, and the Lord said to me, "It's not your weed to kill. Every plant, no matter how beautiful or distasteful, has its purpose in my Kingdom." I heard what He said, but I didn't want to receive it.

Curiosity drove me to the internet to find out just what this weed, a.k.a, plant, might be. I discovered that it is called "Common Mullein" and actually has a variety of medicinal purposes, among other things. As it happens, the taller it grows, the more beautiful it becomes, as small, yellow flowers begin to appear as it reaches its maximum height. In my mind, pretty flowers or not, it was still just an overgrown weed.

You can only imagine the mixed feelings that followed. "But, Lord," I said, "it's such an eyesore! Why do they let it grow like that? Won't it hurt the rosebush? I wish I could cut it down!" But, as He always does, the quiet whisper of the Holy Spirit came and changed my point of view.

You see, as we discovered earlier this week, "trials till the soil of our souls so that the seeds of faith fall on fertile ground and take root." However, your trials are not the same as mine and vice-versa. The journey to our growth is individual, not collective, although you and I may be receiving the same message. The important thing to remember is this: we cannot till land that does not belong to us.

Jesus likened our hearts to that of soil in Luke 8, the Parable of the Sower. We will pick it up in verse 11:

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is God’s word. The seeds that fell on the footpath represent those who hear the message, only to have the devil come and take it away from their hearts and prevent them from believing and being saved. The seeds on the rocky soil represent those who hear the message and receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they believe for a while, then they fall away when they face temptation. The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity. And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest. (Luke 8:11-15, NLT)

Most of us can quickly determine the nature of the soil of our own hearts. We'd like to say we are all "good soil." But, the reality is, many of us are still tilling our land, moving through trial after trial, ripping up weeds, planting new seeds and praying for growth.

I'd ask you to consider this, however: how many times have you looked at the trials in someone else's life and seen the hard ground, rocks, thorns and weeds? Have you felt like me and wanted to take charge of their lives and either turn them around or save them altogether?

You and I have no right to remove the obstacles in somebody else's life just because it makes us uncomfortable.

We are exhorted by the Apostle Paul, ". . . you must continually work out your own salvation with fear and trembling: for God is the One Who works in you, both to determine and to work, for His good pleasure.(Philippians 2:12b-13, The One New Man Bible, emphasis mine). My spiritual mama and counselor puts it like this: "Each one of us is working out his own salvation and deliverance." 

Just as Jesus likens our lives to the farmer's field, you and I can look at the landscape of our lives and realize that we have enough of our own tilling to do. We lack the time and energy to till someone else's. While it is important to come along side each other and lend a helping hand, ultimately, we are each responsible for the fruit in our lives. Only by walking with Jesus can we weather the storms, endure the trials and yield the harvest He has commissioned us to cultivate.

My point is this, whatever thorn or weed I see in my sister's life that makes me squirm and feel the need to remove, the reality is that she needs to work that ground with God, and I need to see her do it. Both of us will see the glory of God manifested in her life and the promise of His faithfulness fulfilled. We overcome by the "blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony" (Revelation 12:11). Sometimes, we need to allow the ones we love to endure pain, heartache, disappointment, sorrow, loss and devastation so that we all may rejoice in knowing that God is sovereign regardless of how ugly things look.

The Lord says to Hosea in Chapter 10, verse 12, "I said, ‘Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.’" (NLT)

There are two ways to look at this verse, as we close. First we can identify "the hard ground of our hearts" to be the rocks, thorns and weeds that are left in our lives by a prior generation, placed by our own actions and choices, or allowed to exist because God has something to teach us. 

However, I'd like you to focus on a different part of the verse, "for now is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you."

The thought I'd like to leave you with is this:  The trials in our lives are appointed by God. There is no hair on your head that He does not know (Luke 12:7), nor is there a trial or challenge in your life that is unforeseen (Jeremiah 1:5, Ephesians 1:4). God chooses when to allow the trials in our lives because He is ready to do a work in us. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), so do not misunderstand me. Your path, your journey, your purpose, is entirely ordained and orchestrated by your Father in Heaven, to include when and where He chooses to grow you. 

As I said before, you and I can choose how we will receive the trials in our lives. We can allow our ground to remain hardened, full of fear, bitterness, unforgiveness and the heavy stones of unrepented sin. We can allow the thorns and weeds to grow, as improper thinking, willful ignorance and inappropriate relationships choke out the good seed that has been sown into our lives. 

Or, we can embrace the love of the Father, as He uses trials, purposely and carefully crafted, to grow our character, secure our foundation and allow the seeds of faith to flourish.