I'm sure you've heard how hot and dry the desert can be. I often think of the swirling dust storms and the furtive movements of the creatures that call the sun-scorched land their home. I think of the dry, cold nights, where you can see sky for miles and miles. The mere thought makes my mouth feel parched.
Yet, these days, it is not my body that thirsts; it is my soul. You'd never know it to look at or even have a casual conversation with me. On the surface, I project my normal congeniality and most are none the wiser. Yet, deep inside, my heart pants like the deer for water - Living Water (Psalm 42).
When I think about being in the spiritual desert, or wilderness, so-to-speak, I think about the Israelites after they left Egypt. What could have been a three-day journey turned into forty years. An entire generation perished during that time. They grumbled, they complained, and they longed to go back to the land of their captivity. Yet God still provided everything they needed, and even more, He travlled with them! Cloud by day and fire by night, the Lord never left them (Exodus 13). And, still, they longed for something more.
I am faced with the same situation, thousands of years after Moses led the Israelites to the edge of the Promise Land. I have been grumbling, I have been complaining and I have been longing to return to something more familiar. Yet, I know the Lord is with me and He is providing everything I need. His presence has never left me.
Earlier this evening, I participated in a wonderful online group chat. Something that really resonated in my spirit was that the Hebrew word for "fulfillment" means "verified promise." Think about that with me for a minute - the fulfillment of God's promise is verification that He meant what He said! So much more than a casual commitment, it is the realization of all things that God speaks into existence. So much more than words, it is THE Word, made flesh. It is Jesus, Himself.
As I pondered this revelation, it occurred to me how weak my faith has been. Instead of pressing in to God and following His path to the fulfillment of His promises for my life, I have been asking God to "verify" His promises on my terms! How pompous! Who am I to demand anything from the very One who gave me all that I have to begin with?
I have come to realize that in the desert, we are distracted by the problems we face. We forget about the oasis that awaits us. We instead seek out the outcome we hope for and get angry and bitter when we discover it's all been a mirage. And then we quit, right before we get to the place where we can rest. We sit on the edge of the Promise Land and blame God for all that went wrong.
I don't want to sit on the edge of the promise. I want to carry on the purpose I have been called to and see it fulfilled. I want to be like Joshua and let my faith lead me and shows me a land flowing with milk and honey instead of the giants who block my view.
Perhaps this holiday season, the dry places of my soul can be watered and renewed. For too many years, I've gone back to my own version of Egypt, and I have allowed my soul to be taken captive by the comfort of the misery from which I have been set free.
This is not where God has called me to stay. The Egyptians of my past have already been defeated. I have walked through the Red Sea and traveled a long distance. Now, as I stand on the edge of where God wants to take me, do I want to allow the fear of the unknown and my own preconceived terms of the awaited promise to keep me from tasting all that is good before me?
No, instead, I will press into God, asking Him to wash me with the cleansing rain that soaks the dry ground and gives life to my weary bones. The desert is giving way to the rich soil of God's goodness. No matter how far I have traveled or how much further I have to go, God has already verified His promises to me. There are too many to count, but I assure you, that the greatest of them has been in the coming of His Son, just over 2000 years ago and the salvation that came with Him.
May the fulfillment of God's promise to the world in His Son, Jesus Christ, renew your own journey as you move into the New Year. Don't stand on the edge of your Promised Land, taken captive again by the things that cannot be changed or affected by the pain you hold in your heart.
Let the Light of the World shine brightly on your future and may the joy of the season be yours to keep all the year through.
"For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ." 2 Corinthians 4:6
