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Blessing in the Brokenness

For those of you who know me, my story may or may not be familiar to you.  I write because I am now at liberty to do so.  And, now, I can share why I have that liberty.  The journey is not over yet, as I am constantly being reminded that there is "Blessing in the Brokenness". . . 

"Broken"              

adjective bro·ken \ˈbrō-kən\

: separated into parts or pieces by being hit, damaged, etc.

: not working properly

: not kept or honored[1]

Broken.  Ponder that word for a minute.  What does it mean to be broken?  Have we ever really looked at that word?  It's definition seems so simple if we apply it to an object or a promise. 

But, what does it really mean to be broken?  Have you ever lived in that place?  What does brokenness look like?  I can tell you.  I used to live there.

Twenty-two months ago, almost to the day, I was broken.  Not just broken, but shattered.  My heart in a million pieces, I walked out of my house, said goodbye to my then six-year old daughter, and just walked away.  I turned my cell phone location services off and then on again.  I turned the cell phone off and on again.  Tears streaming down my face, all I could think of was does my daughter know how much I love her?  Will they tell her?  Will he, speaking of my husband, equally in a place of brokenness, tell her that I love her?  I just walked and cried.   My heart cried out to God, who seemed so far away.  My body moved forward towards the local hospital, the only destination I could focus on that could possibly bring me healing. I texted my husband.  I called my best friend, whom I could not immediately reach.  Moved forward by desperation, I walked 4.3 miles before my husband finally came to pick me up.  And, the sight of my precious daughter running out to me sent my grief deeper into my soul.  Numbly, I walked back to the van and climbed in.  Soon, my best friend called and before I knew it, she was sitting in my living room and then I was sitting in the emergency room on a 72-hour mandatory psychiatric hold.  I don't remember how long it was before the social worker, larger than life on the television screen before me, released me to her care.  As I walked out with her, all I knew was that I didn't know what would happen next and I felt nothing but despair.

The one conscious thought I had was to make a phone call to my husband's best friend. I thought I was calling for my husband, to ensure someone was there for him.  But little did I know how that one phone call would be the beginning of a journey that I can describe as nothing short of miraculous.  The door to the Ministry Of Miracles was opening to me and I didn't even know it.

Our dear friend followed in obedience and made a phone call.  This phone call lead to my husband making a phone call, then another.  And, finally, the instruction came to me.  "I want you to pray about when, not if, you are going to call Bari.  When, Michelle, not if.  Rob has already spoken to her.  She would like to speak to you, too."  I agreed to pray, nothing more.  It's all I could agree to.  Yet, praying seemed so shallow and fruitless. 

But, oh, my Father in Heaven still heard.  He heard the prayers of my husband and our friends and my first call was made two days later on a Saturday night.  "How are you feeling, Michelle?" said a cheerful, but confident voice on the other end of the line.  "Anxious," I said.  "No, you aren't feeling anxious.  You're feeling dread."  How did she know? It was like she could look through the phone directly into my soul.  I tried to shrink further into myself, arms crossed and on the defensive.  But, something pulled me out of that posture.  Someone.  Not just the voice on the other end of the line, but Someone bigger than the two of us.  SURRENDER.  I will never forget writing that word, while laying on my stomach like a teenager, and smiling and laughing.  A new work had begun and my world started to change. 

Today, I walk in liberty.  I stand tall as a Daughter of Zion, a Daughter of the Most High King, a Daughter of Destiny. But this is not just any destiny.  It is a powerful, purpose-filled Destiny that was created before the Earth was formed and my heart existed to possess it.  Today I am rooted in the Living Water that gives me life, the very breath I breathe given to me by the Holy Spirit, poured out over the hours upon hours of counsel, instruction and revelation through the Ministry Of Miracles' principle, Bari.  Strongholds have been broken.  I no longer live with a shattered heart. The chains that once bound me lie scattered behind me.  No longer an empty vessel, the clay from which I was formed has been reshaped and renewed and it now holds the blessings of being raised up and out of captivity.  The scales have long since been removed my eyes and I walk in the light of God's perfect love, perfected in His righteousness, only made possible by Jesus' death and resurrection.  Words simply are not adequate to describe the healing that has mended the broken places in my life. 

Oh, but the blessings were not reserved just for me.  My husband has received counsel and instruction and walks in greater freedom than ever before.  My daughter instantly bonded to Bari and grows closer to God with each passing day.  Gone are the damaged places that kept us in bondage. Hearts and minds that were once under oppression and not working properly, freed and full of life and joy.  No longer are we wounded, living in a fog, feeling dishonored, for we live in the reality of the blessing and honor we receive as children of our loving Heavenly Father. 

Romans 8:9 - 17 says:

"But you, you do not identify with your old nature but with the Spirit - provided the Spirit of God is living inside you, for anyone who doesn't have the Spirit of the Messiah doesn't belong to him. However, if the Messiah is in you, then, on the one hand, the body is dead because of sin; but, on the other hand, the Spirit is giving life because God considers you righteous. And if the Spirit of the One who raised Yeshua from the dead is living in you, then the One who raised the Messiah Yeshua from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit living in you. So then, brothers, we don't owe a thing to our old nature that would require us to live according to our old nature. For if you live according to your old nature, you will certainly die; but if, by the Spirit, you keep putting to death the practices of the body, you will live. All who are led by God's Spirit are God's sons. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to bring you back again into fear; on the contrary, you received the Spirit, who makes us sons and by whose power we cry out, "Abba!" (that is, "Dear Father!").  The Spirit himself bears witness with our own spirits that we are children of God; and if we are children, then we are also heirs, heirs of God and joint-heirs with the Messiah - provided we are suffering with him in order also to be glorified with him."[2]

Let's go back to that word, "broken."  Brokenness can be and is used by God.  Brokenness is necessary to the process of restoration.  Without being broken, we do not see the hidden places where anger, shame, bitterness, pain and sin hide.  Only when we are broken, can something new and beautiful be revealed.  A diamond's brilliance is not revealed until it has been broken from the layers of rock around it.  On the outside it is ugly and course, but once revealed and refined, we see it for what it really is - beautiful and precious.  Are we not God's precious jewels, born into an ugly and sinful world?  Reread Romans 8:9-17.  We are precious in the eyes of our Abba, Father, who sent His only Son to die a brutal death but was raised from the dead by the Holy Spirit to give us new life.  This new life must be born out of the brokenness that exists deep within our souls, the very brokenness that serves as the fertile ground on which the Holy Spirit cultivates and develops the roots that connect us to the Vine and sustains our lives.

Our blessings came not in place of, but because of and through the brokenness.  I needed to be broken for the Father to bring me to the Ministry Of Miracles.  I needed to be broken further in order to break free of the chains that bound me to the pain of my past.  The deepening bond of my heart to the Father's through the firm, yet gentle voice of Bari had to (and continues to) come as the Holy Spirit works in the depths of my soul through our calls.  And, oh, the overflowing joy!  The laughter and sharing as the Lord healed the hidden places in my husband and me over the last twenty-two months are beautiful and precious.  A song born in my daughter's heart, resonates within me as I reflect upon how even she has been reshaped and renewed though so young.

There is no shame in being broken.  For it is only when we are broken and humbled that we become teachable.  And, when we are teachable, the yearning in our souls is satisfied with the manna from Heaven, the Word made flesh, Jesus.  We can then enter His courts with praise and sing "Holy, holy, holy is ADONAI, God of heaven's armies the One who was, who is and who is coming!" (Revelation 4:8).[3]

Walk through the door.  The Father is waiting.  The Spirit is drawing.  The Ministry Of Miracles is the Ministry of the Miraculous.  I am living proof.  And, I praise Him with all that I am. 

For more information on the Ministry of Miracles, please visit www.ministryofmiracles.org.

[1] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/broken

[2] http://www.biblestudytools.com/cjb/romans/8.html

[3] http://www.biblestudytools.com/cjb/revelation/4.html

It's okay to be weak.

In the last several posts, I have championed strength.  As a matter of fact, I'm in the middle of another Spirit-filled post about victory.  However, as I reflected today on the weakness I have in my physical body (courtesy of this season's version of "flu"), I realized, it's okay to feel weak and vulnerable and still have strength within you.

Many of us have quoted Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9  (I have often quoted it, myself):

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 

But oftentimes, we leave out verse 10, which completes Paul's thought:

"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

So what does it mean to be weak?  Is it a negative thing?  Perhaps by the world's standards.   Professor Google defines the term as "(1) lacking the power to perform physically demanding tasks; lacking physical strength and energy, or (2) liable to break or give way under pressure; easily damaged."  In society, showing mercy is considered weak, being honest can make you the "weak link," and being physically lacking often is used to describe a person as a whole as "weak."

But, if being weak is lacking in the world, how much more is it desired in the Kingdom of God?

If we are not weak (vulnerable), we cannot be broken and molded.

Jeremiah 3-4:

So I went down to the potter's house, and there he was working at his wheel. "And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter's hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do. Then the word of the Lord came to me:  “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.

If we are not weak, we cannot we be restored and made whole.

Luke 5:5-9 

One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”  “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.” Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking!

If we are not weak (vulnerable), our hearts cannot be open to God's plan:

Luke 1:35-38

"And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her."

Yes, God's mighty power is made greater in our weakness, but perhaps it's when we are willing to be weak, that God can do His greatest work in and through us.  As I have written before, it is through surrender that we gain our greatest blessings and power.  When "we end," Christ begins!  It is in and through right standing in God that we have the ability to tap into our inheritance in Christ.  And, Christ freely gave that right to us at His most vulnerable point in life, His death on the cross.

Strength in Christ is essential and being a warrior in God's army requires a lot of spiritual fortitude.  Yet, even warriors must show their weaknesses from time to time.  It's how truces are made.  Yet, they never lose their edge, their confidence, their readiness, or their focus.  Instead, they let the softer side of themselves be used for a greater purpose. 

Whatever weakness you find yourself in today, rest in knowing that God's grace is sufficient for you and He will carry you forth as long as you take the time to rest in His loving kindness and let Him turn your weakness into His glory.  

Failure is not an option!

Have you ever had that feeling that you if you just had one more day, one more hour, one more ounce of "umpf" in your step, that you could reach your final destination or goal?  I know I do.  I've had so many thoughts swirling around in my head, ideas, inclinations, and yet, the Lord impressed upon me to think on the story of Joshua and the City of Jericho.

We all know the story.  God told Joshua that Jericho was His.  He gave Joshua instructions on how to conquer the city (see Joshua 6).  The familiar children's hymn comes to mind, "Joshua fought the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho.  Joshua fought the battle of Jericho and the walls came a-tumbling down."

The thought occurred to me, what if Joshua hadn't completed the full seven marches around the city over the course of seven days?   What if he stopped just short of the finish line?  Would the walls still have fallen down?  Would the annals of history been the same? 

While I could amuse myself with the possible alternate outcomes, the bottom line is this:  we will never know.  My gut feeling is that the walls wouldn't have come "a-tumbling down."  In fact, I don't believe that the Lord would have allowed Joshua to fail.  I think He would have given Joshua a good talking-to and sent him to finish what he had begun.  I don't believe that failure was an option for Joshua.  And it's not an option for you or I either.

I can hear some of you of saying, that's ridiculous!  Failure just happens. It's how we learn. Didn't Edison prove that with the light bulb?  However, I would tell you that we are not talking about the same thing.

I know I've written before about knowing who we are in Christ.  Our identity in Him is the foundation upon which we build our lives.    If we do not know who we are, we cannot accomplish our purpose.  And we cannot be without purpose.   Purpose is what drives us to succeed.   We fail when we do not know how to succeed.  But, we have been given everything we need to have victory in life.

Paul said in Hebrews 12:1-4

So then, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us, too, put aside every impediment — that is, the sin which easily hampers our forward movement — and keep running with endurance in the contest set before us,  looking away to the Initiator and Completer of that trusting, Yeshua — who, in exchange for obtaining the joy set before him, endured execution on a stake as a criminal, scorning the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Yes, think about him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you won’t grow tired or become despondent.  You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in the contest against sin.

I have to be honest.  I have read that Scripture multiple times, but as I was just reading it again, I saw something that struck me differently this time.  "...put aside every impediment — that is, the sin which easily hampers our forward movement — and keep running with endurance in the contest set before us,  looking away to the Initiator and Completer of that trusting..."  What is it that hampers our forward movement?  Sin.  What sin, you ask?  Any.  Sin is sin.  Whether we believe our sin to be "little" or "big," it's all the same to God.  But, there is something else.  Whom do we look to? ”. . . to the Initiator and Completer of that trusting..."   Our forward movement is entirely dependent on our trust in God. (check out my post here for more on that subject)  Without our trust in Him, we are merely stopping short of what we are called to do and the fulfillment of all that God has purposed for us 

Joshua put his trust in God.  He took of his shoes.  (Joshua 5:15).  In biblical times, removal of your shoes was to give up your authority over yourself.  It was a complete act of submission.  Not only did Joshua obey, but he trusted God for the future.  His declaration is probably  hanging in your home or in the very least, you have recited it over your family:  "As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord!" (Joshua 24:15) But what would have happened if Joshua hadn't had enough faith in the God of his ancestors to complete the assignment at Jericho?  Would we still have that declaration to speak over our homes today?

Joshua understood the importance of moving forward in God.  He didn't question the command to march around the city.  He trusted and obeyed (more on that here).  It took a lot of faith to take a city without an embroiling battle.  For a warrior of God, marching in silence had to be difficult to do.  Yet, we are called to move forward in faith.   Jesus didn't die on the cross so you and I could stand by and be idle!  Blessings need our participation to come to fruition!  We must complete the assignment as it is given, and not stop just short because we can't see the outcome.  We have to believe that God's outcome is far better than what we hope for and perseverance will pay off!  So often we stop just one or two steps from our being able to sound the trumpet of victory and we never even know just how close we've come.

". . . Keep running with endurance. . ."  Keep on marching around your Jericho.  You have everything you need to succeed inside you! 

Failure is not an option in God.  Our victories have already been won.  It's up to us to claim them.