Zing!

I don't know about you, but I had to wait 30 years for my daughter.  I knew at the age of 6 that I was going to be a mom.  Little did I know, it was going to take a lifetime before God would give me that honor.

We tried for 2 years to conceive a child.   I'll spare you the ugly details, but it was a heartbreaking and trying process for both my husband and me.  Finally, in May of 2007, I found out I was pregnant, and without the aid of modern medicine.  :)  The entire family, including my two [step] kids (I really don't like that word, "step" - their my kids!) celebrated.

My daughter is going to be 5 in a few weeks. About a week after my husband and  I celebrate our birthdays.  During the last 7 years, if you include the time I was actively waiting for a plus sign on that home pregnancy test, I have learned the following:

• God is sovereign and His timing is perfect.
• Even when I'm ready to give up, He's not giving up on me.
• He is faithful and true to His promises.
• He loves us in an amount that cannot be measured.
• He uses our children to teach us, convict us and remind us of His ultimate authority and our responsibility to yield to it.

Sure, I could have learned all these things without becoming a parent.  Many have and do.  However, I believe (a) God made me wait until the age of 36 to have a child because He knew I wouldn't be ready until then and (b) He uses her to remind me of Himself and to get my act in gear.

In the past few weeks, K (as she will be referred to hereafter), has been insistent that we continue our study on the Fruit of the Spirit as given to us Galatians 5:22-23 of the New Testament.   We had previous covered the first 3, love, joy, and peace.  Little did I know that my procrastination would lead me to the fourth fruit, patience.  Yes, that stung a bit.  Let me elaborate.

As I have been trying to teach my soon-to-be 5 year-old to be patient when Daddy is at work for seven days at a time or for me to get her something to eat or for me to engage in a little pretend play (as Grandma to her baby dolls) - you know, the simple things - I've been dealing with my own impatience.  We've recently embarked on some home improvement projects, some of which were planned, others of which were unavoidable.  The chaos it has created and the desire for things to either get done or for us to just forget about it has created a certain amount of my own grumblings and whining and yes, pity parties.  I also started daydreaming about a new combination sewing/embroidery/quilting machine that costs way more than I can afford.  All this unhealthy wanting this and that and wanting it now or, for Pete's sake, just forget about it, is not a good quality to be modeling to my little girl.  And, tonight, God zinged me with out little devotional.

Here's the prayer we said together:

"Dear God,
I trust you and I know that you want me to wait patiently for your answers and your timing.  Help me to learn not to whine or cry when I don’t get my way.  Help me to show others what  it means to trust You by showing them how I patiently wait.
Amen."

Ouch!  As I heard her repeat that prayer after me, I felt the gentle hand of conviction reminding me that God is in control, His timing is perfect, and His desire is to meet my needs, not necessarily my wants.  

So, as I take a step back and ponder my current choices, I'm faced with some pretty important decisions.  Do I sit on the sidelines, pray my selfish prayers and have a  little temper tantrum every time I don't get my way?  Or, do I praise Him when I wake up, praise Him all the day long, and praise Him when I lay my head on my pillow, all the while, knowing He's in charge, He knows what I need and will provide it according to His will and timing.  My prayers will never been in vain as long as I truly seek Him in intimate fellowship where He can be glorified and then, I will be blessed.

I know my heart wants to follow where my mind is leading.  Or is it the other way around?  Either way, I can't get out of being reminded on a daily basis that God is an almighty, powerful and loving God and I have received more blessing than I could ever deserve. 

 All I have to do is look into my daughter's eyes and see her smile.